Ten ways to leave your lover
Relationships / 26 Nov '12, 06:31am
London - You know when your relationship is not working out, but how do you tell your partner they are dumped?
A new poll reveals just how women and men call time on a love affair. And the results reveal differences in the sexes over how to give a loved one the push – and the reasons they give for the split.
So what is love? That was one of 2014's most popular web searches.
Women are more concerned about trying to soften the blow with emotional reasons for the split.
A UK dating site asked 1 000 male and female members why and how they would dump a partner.
Going against the stereotype of the commitment-phobe male, the most popular line used by women in ending a relationship is: “I’m not ready for commitment yet.”
The second is: “This is going too fast for me.”
Interestingly, the earning power of their partner is far more important to a woman than a man. “You don’t earn enough money” is the third most important reason on the women’s list, whereas it doesn’t feature at all on the men’s list.
For men, poor sex and lack of physical compatibility appears more important for why a relationship has failed.
The third most popular reason for men is they are no longer attracted to their partner and the fourth is: “We’ve lost that sexual spark.”
Both sexes prefer to end a relationship face to face but they are also increasingly using email and SMS.
Just over half of women (52%) would meet a partner to say the relationship is over, while only 43% of men would.
“Relationships work when one whole person attracts another whole person. If you’re giving 50%, and the other is giving 50%, it’s not going to work,” said dating and relationship expert Louise Van Der Velde. “Both of you need to commit to giving the relationship no less than 100%.
“And I think it’s so healthy for people to be honest about their expectations in a relationship. Work out what you want, and don’t settle for less.”
SeekingArrangement owner Brandon Wade said increasing numbers of online daters jumped quickly from one relationship to the next.
“If you are going to be a success dating online you have to learn how to end a relationship without causing too much fuss,” he said.
“The other message to come from this survey is that women like men with money. It has always been so.” – Daily Mail
Reasons women give for ending it
1. I am not ready for commitment yet.
2. This is going too fast for me.
3. You don’t earn enough money.
4. You aren’t mature enough
5. I need to concentrate on my career
6. I don’t like your friends or family.
7. It’s just not working.
8. We aren’t going to get married, so what’s the point?
9. We have not got enough in common.
10. I don’t trust you.
Reasons men give for ending it
1. It’s just not working.
2. I’ve met someone else.
3. I’m not attracted to you any more.
4. We’ve lost that sexual spark.
5. It’s not you, it’s me.
6. I need to concentrate on my career.
7. We want different things.
8. I don’t want to see you any more.
9. I am not ready for commitment yet.
10. We don’t have enough in common.
HOW WOMEN BREAK THE NEWS
1. Face to face – 52%
2. Over the phone – 27%
3. By e-mail – 12%
4. By text – 5%
5. Get a friend to do it – 4%
HOW MEN BREAK THE NEWS
1. Face to face – 43%
2. Over the phone – 32%
3. By e-mail –15%
4. By text – 6%