Alleged child killer Zulfa Jacobs wants to die so she can be reunited with her son Taariq.
Disturbed Jacobs speaks of her grim death wish in a handwritten prison letter obtained by the Daily Voice.
“I’m gonna kill myself cause I can’t take this waiting anymore,” she writes.
“By the time you read this I would probably try to do something to myself – but please, kanallah, if anything should happen, let the people out there know why I did that to my son.
“Don’t hate me kanallah but I did really try to be strong but I want to be with Taariq and to hold him and never let him go.”
On Monday the Daily Voice revealed how Jacobs claimed she killed her two-year-old son Taariq because she wanted to “protect him”.
Feared
She says she feared her estranged husband’s family wanted to “take my son away from me”.
Jacobs is due to stand trial for murdering Taariq next week.
She admitted to cops that she buried her son’s face in the sand until he suffocated to death on December 29 last year.
Police are also also investigating the deaths of her two other children – two-year-old Naeelah who died nine years ago of a suspected cot death; and Sabri, also two, who died of a suspected asthma attack four years ago.
In her letter, which was written behind bars in Pollsmoor prison on August 13, Jacobs says she has only one more wish – to see her family one more time.
“Now I’ve been here for eight months,” Jacobs adds.
“I’ve told them everything they need to know. What more do they want from me? If I don’t get bail and the magistrate must tell me the reason why and when I don’t get my sentence when I go to court.”
Jacobs also speaks about her own dark past as a drug user and her unhappy marriage, which she claims drove her to despair.
Stole
She admits she stole to feed herself and Taariq when they were forced to live on the streets.
“I started stealing for him [husband] and for his son so that we can survive,” she writes.
“I was off the drugs for five years. I use[d] to tik then when he started treating me so badly.
“I was starting to steal from his [husband’s] family as well to make sure we did eat and that’s how we got thrown out a month before it [killing Taariq] happened.
“I even took Taariq out of the crèche so that we can save that money because I was a teacher and I took him [Taariq] to work with me.”
*This article was published in the Daily Voice