London - Many women who miscarry their baby feel so ashamed they can’t even talk to their husband about it, research has revealed.
Friends are also often shut out and it is common to feel a failure.
The baby charity Tommy’s said that with one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage, the condition should no longer be taboo.
It also wants women who miscarry to be referred for tests earlier. Under current guidance, a woman must suffer three miscarriages in a row before she is entitled to specialist help.
A survey of more than 5n500 women who have had a miscarriage found that 70 percent felt guilty and 79 percent felt like a failure.
About 67 percent said they couldn’t talk to their best friend and 35 percent didn’t feel they could share their pain with the baby’s father.
Jane Brewin, Tommy’s chief executive officer, said fear that the issue will be trivialised by those ignorant of the facts leaves many women too ashamed to talk about it. But by bottling up their feelings, they could be increasing their odds of depression. Those who do confide in others are often hurt by comments that were intended to be of comfort, including “it wasn’t a real baby”. Ms Brewin said: “Every woman when she is pregnant is having a real baby, not a bundle of cells or a foetus.”
She said it was sad to think that so many women find it difficult to talk to their baby’s father and added: “The silence that surrounds miscarriage makes it difficult for women to be open about the wide range of reactions they might be experiencing.
Emma Benjamin, a 34-year-old chartered accountant from Hertfordshire, has lost five babies and believes talking helps. She said: “I felt so confused and isolated and thought sharing my experience might make another woman feel less so. In the beginning, I felt such a sense of failure, like it must be my fault.
“I believe that’s a big part of the reason that women don’t talk about miscarriage, it feels almost like a source of shame.”
Daily Mail